I am not too much of a technician but I am now gonna explain about furnace repair in Utah. The following are the steps for furnace repair
Step 1) Go put some sweat pants on. The shirt is optional and preferably don’t wear one. Home repair is better bare chested.
Step 2) Make your way down the basement stairs. In order to avoid scary basement monsters that lurk under your place of residence furnace repair should be done between the hours of 6am and 8pm. If working on your furnace later at night one option is to yell “Attention basement monster! I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU. YOU CAN NOT HURT ME BASEMENT MONSTER!” That should scare him off.
Step 3) Once down the stairs looking at the furnace you should see a large panel on the side. Look at the screws holding it in place, kick the panel and proclaim “Son of a bitch I need a screw driver”.
Step 4) Go get a screw driver
Step 5) Return to furnace and remove panel
Step 6) Go get the other screw driver because you grabbed the wrong one. God damned philips head. Gets you every time.
Step 7) Remove the panel paying close attention the shear the heads off one half and striping the threading off the other half of screws.
Step 8) Throw the screws are far across the basement as possible. Chances are you’ll loose them anyways and also doing this will scare off the basement monster if he’s still there but in hiding.
Step 9) You should see a grouping of wires in front out you now that that insides of the furnace have been exposed.
Step 10) Pick your favorite color and cut the wire that most closely matches that color. Don’t worry the modern furnaces are custom made with you the owner in mind. The manufacture knows your favorite color during production and has designed the wiring around this.
Step 11) Throw the screw drivers into the corner of the basement. Got to keep making noise or else the basement monster will get bold and come after you.
Step 12) Once your favorite color wire is disconnected pull all the other wires out. You no longer need them for the proper operation of your furnace.
Step 13) We’re going to skip 13. It’s the devils number
Step 14) Take the excess wires you removed (step 12) and tie them around your forehead. Rambo was badass now so are you. Awesome wire head bands will also help keep basement monster away.
Step 15) With the wire now out of the way you should be able to see the heating element. Take offerings of animals, gold, fruits, and a pure virgin woman if possible and stuff them all inside furnace. If sacrificial offerings were good enough for the ancient Aztecs then they’re good enough to heat your home.
Step 16) Reconnect your favorite color wire and prop the metal panel up against the side of furnace. Remember the screws served a higher calling in keeping basement monster at bay.
Step 17) At this point your sweat pants should be soaked through with sweat. If they’re not you must have missed a step. Remove your sweat pants, ball them up and throw them in in the corner. Don’t relax just yet. This is the hard part. Sweat sends the basement monster into a rage causing him to attack. Since the furnace is now fixed (thanks to your offering) the last task is to do battle with the monster lurking under your house. Be brave, watch the front fangs, dodge the horns, punch him in the eyes, kick the genitals and victory shall be yours.
Step 18) With the furnace fixed and evil basement monster defeated emerge upstairs, wipe the blood off (yours and monster’s) and make love to your woman like the manly man you are.
Step 1) Go put some sweat pants on. The shirt is optional and preferably don’t wear one. Home repair is better bare chested.
Step 2) Make your way down the basement stairs. In order to avoid scary basement monsters that lurk under your place of residence furnace repair should be done between the hours of 6am and 8pm. If working on your furnace later at night one option is to yell “Attention basement monster! I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU. YOU CAN NOT HURT ME BASEMENT MONSTER!” That should scare him off.
Step 3) Once down the stairs looking at the furnace you should see a large panel on the side. Look at the screws holding it in place, kick the panel and proclaim “Son of a bitch I need a screw driver”.
Step 4) Go get a screw driver
Step 5) Return to furnace and remove panel
Step 6) Go get the other screw driver because you grabbed the wrong one. God damned philips head. Gets you every time.
Step 7) Remove the panel paying close attention the shear the heads off one half and striping the threading off the other half of screws.
Step 8) Throw the screws are far across the basement as possible. Chances are you’ll loose them anyways and also doing this will scare off the basement monster if he’s still there but in hiding.
Step 9) You should see a grouping of wires in front out you now that that insides of the furnace have been exposed.
Step 10) Pick your favorite color and cut the wire that most closely matches that color. Don’t worry the modern furnaces are custom made with you the owner in mind. The manufacture knows your favorite color during production and has designed the wiring around this.
Step 11) Throw the screw drivers into the corner of the basement. Got to keep making noise or else the basement monster will get bold and come after you.
Step 12) Once your favorite color wire is disconnected pull all the other wires out. You no longer need them for the proper operation of your furnace.
Step 13) We’re going to skip 13. It’s the devils number
Step 14) Take the excess wires you removed (step 12) and tie them around your forehead. Rambo was badass now so are you. Awesome wire head bands will also help keep basement monster away.
Step 15) With the wire now out of the way you should be able to see the heating element. Take offerings of animals, gold, fruits, and a pure virgin woman if possible and stuff them all inside furnace. If sacrificial offerings were good enough for the ancient Aztecs then they’re good enough to heat your home.
Step 16) Reconnect your favorite color wire and prop the metal panel up against the side of furnace. Remember the screws served a higher calling in keeping basement monster at bay.
Step 17) At this point your sweat pants should be soaked through with sweat. If they’re not you must have missed a step. Remove your sweat pants, ball them up and throw them in in the corner. Don’t relax just yet. This is the hard part. Sweat sends the basement monster into a rage causing him to attack. Since the furnace is now fixed (thanks to your offering) the last task is to do battle with the monster lurking under your house. Be brave, watch the front fangs, dodge the horns, punch him in the eyes, kick the genitals and victory shall be yours.
Step 18) With the furnace fixed and evil basement monster defeated emerge upstairs, wipe the blood off (yours and monster’s) and make love to your woman like the manly man you are.
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